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Application [Sep. 8th, 2008|12:39 pm]

Application...Collapse )
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(no subject) [Jun. 6th, 2008|11:13 pm]

So I'll start by saying My Name is Emily. I'm currently on Methadone, trying to do good in life for my daughter and I suppose for myself as well. I'm for all Harm Reduction Treatments, as I feel strongly that "The war on Drugs" is complete utter bull shit and is failing Addicts miserably. Absitinence for most long term opiate addicts is a goal that is highly unattainable, as Brain Chemistry has been altered. Still, they incarcerate these Addicts, costing the Taxpayers copious amounts of money, that could be used for Rehabilation. By Rehabilitation, this includes, Methadone Maintenance, Heroin Maintenance, Suboxone Maintenance, etc....Too Much focus and money is being spent on the idea that "Abstinence is the only way to be clean and live a life of recovery" Over in Europe, the few that have been granted Heroin Scripts, leave Productive, Successful, and Healthy Lifestyles. With Heroin Use Rising the U.S. desperately needs to look into these Drug Replacement therapies, as it would do a world of good....
Anyways, I've totally gone off on a tangent, I do it often, anyways, so I did have a long lasting love/hate relationship with Heroin. We are seperated at the time, as I'm on Methadone and am probably the most stable and happiest I've ever been in my life. I started Methadone, because at the time I had a 2 Year Old, and I had desperately wanted to be the mother I knew I was capable of being. I was on the Verge of CPS coming in and taking her. I was very lucky to have my own mother, be her mother while I was chasing my fixes around. So I guess that's all I have to say.
Also, I have started a Community designed specifically for those On Methadone, who are interested in Methadone, or have family on Methadone and would like to know more about it, or just get support from others. Although I extend the welcome to anyone on a Harm Reduction Program, or who would like to get on one. Anyways, if you search Methadone, the Community will come up, it's titled MMTPRETTY...Feel free to check it out if interested. I'm dedicated to getting more harm reduction/Pro Methadone Communities out there as it's so important that we fight the myths that are being spread, and the laws that are trying to be passed...Have a good Night Everyone
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(no subject) [Apr. 8th, 2008|02:08 pm]

anyone in seattle by chance?
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(no subject) [Feb. 24th, 2008|08:13 pm]

Anybody in Cleveland?
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(no subject) [Feb. 3rd, 2008|11:55 pm]
HI, I'm from CT! Does anyone live near me? I could use some support
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(no subject) [Nov. 23rd, 2007|04:02 pm]

 I am a 20f looking for friends who like snow in the hollywood area. My aim is oxladyvampxo 
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For all you kicking folks out there.... [Apr. 16th, 2007|11:20 pm]

Every morning....

You feel the bed move.
You're dragged back.
Back from wherever you were happy- back into a body screaming at you to TAKE YOUR PILL.
Half of you is cold, the other half burning up.
You decide you're cold.
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New [Nov. 4th, 2006|11:21 am]

I have been through the gammut of painkillers. I am way past the going in 3 or so times a month for Demerol shots. I am past going in for morphine shots, even. Now, had they been giving them to me in IV, I would probably still be going. The shots in my fat ass do nothing anymore.
Don't take me for a druggie, I mean, I am, but I have had severe back pain for 10 years now. I am only 22 years old. I have been on Demerol, Delaudid, Norco, Oxycontin, Oxycodone, Morphine... And that's just in the last 2 years. Of course, the doc. I had first stupidly built up my tolerance levels by putting me on Methadone patches when I was 14, so I was a zombie for weeks and my mom made him take me off them. He discovered I had a semi-addiction to Demerol shots, when every time I had an appointment with him, I would ask for a shot. When he stopped giving them to me, and pretty much got fed up and done with me, I found a new Doc. This Doc. is careful, but usually gives me what I want. (almost wrote 'need' there.) I have been on Morphine 60mg for months now, and he just recently upped me to 3 a day instead of two. But I have to take 2 just to get anything out of it, even for the pian, so I might as well take all 3 at once, right? I plan on trying that today.
I had some left over Oxys I found a week ago, and took them with my Morphine. I took 2 with 1 morphine and was pretty hyped-up and active all day, and it felt really good to be doing something active for once, since my back and leg and hip pain has been bad enough to almost be bedridden lately.
I am going in for my 6th surgery this coming Jan. I am getting a disk removed and having my first fusion. I am terrified of having a fusion. I hope they at least give me good pain meds. I was on Fentanyl patches last surgery and suffered through it until they gave me IV morphine. Fentanyl is a joke to me.
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(no subject) [May. 25th, 2006|06:56 pm]
everytime i have gotten black tar its always dark and smells like barbeque sauce or something of the like. i just got something that is quite a bit lighter, like a medium brown and it lacking that ass smell. when i cook it only has a slight H smell to it but perhaps i am just imagining that.. it doesn't taste like anything at all... anyone have experience with black tar? any bets on if its real? i would really like to know fast because i'm about to find out the hard way.

x-posted a lil
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Random musing on potential potentiates... [Mar. 22nd, 2006|05:01 pm]
N-methyl-D-aspartic acid...



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